When it comes to the women in my family (or maybe it’s Asian culture), personal issues are supposed to remain just that – personal. It was only very recently that my mom opened up to me, sharing about the pain and loss she went through as a woman and as a mother. Things she had kept internalized for years that I never knew about. Watching her raise me and my two younger brothers, I saw firsthand being a mom isn’t easy. But what I was never really prepared for was the emotional and physical strain of trying to become a mom.
While I have all the admiration in the world for women who fight their battles quietly, I’m opening up about something very personal in this post. It’s different from the curated version of my life you usually see on my social media, but I think it’s important that we can talk about this kind of struggle without fear of stigma.
The Frustration Cycle
We all have friends who don’t want kids or who are indifferent (“If it happens, it happens”). I respect that, but I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom. Once Nick and I decided to start a family, we naively thought it would happen right away. When it didn’t after several months, I started tracking my ovulation like a hawk (I think Ovia overtook Instagram as my most-used app!) And after that, we probably tried every wives’ tale in the book – Mucinex, “special” lube, headstands. Lots and lots of headstands. You try to keep the negative thoughts from creeping into your head, but it’s hard. There’s always this whisper … maybe there’s something wrong with me.
As time went on, the pregnancy announcements that seemingly surrounded us eventually became babies and then first birthday parties. And while we were genuinely happy for our friends’ milestones, at the same time it was like a depressing re-run that I had to watch on repeat. Every cycle the same. High hopes, scheduling, timing, followed by waiting, and then frustration. And shame. And anger. And always, sadness.
Getting Tested
Earlier this year, we finally decided to see a fertility specialist and get tested. It was a few days of getting poked, prodded, and dyed, and plenty of surprise “oh, insurance doesn’t cover that part” bills. When it was over, I was almost wishing for something definitively wrong so we could just “fix” it. But our doctor told us everything looked fine, and started us down a 6-month plan of fertility treatments. Meanwhile, everyone would offer their own advice. Do acupuncture. Don’t stress. Work less. And of course that one line of advice that undoes itself as soon as it’s uttered…“Just don’t think about it.” During this time, the once innocuous question of “so when are you guys having kids?” by well-intending friends and pesky aunts became one more pill to swallow and politely smile through.
After months of the less-invasive treatments without success, the next step would be In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). A more invasive, more expensive, and even more emotionally draining procedure.
For those who aren’t familiar, the IVF process starts with a few weeks of daily self-injections into the abdomen to essentially trick your ovaries into becoming an egg factory. Your doctors monitor egg progress at the crack of dawn almost daily by drawing blood and doing vaginal ultrasounds (let’s just say, it’s not an EXTERNAL ultrasound), and then determine your injection dosages for that night. Next, surgery is performed to retrieve as many eggs as possible, which are then fertilized externally with sperm before being transferred back into the ovaries as an embryo.
However, since our tests indicated nothing was wrong, we were told our insurance would not cover IVF. And without insurance, it can become quite expensive because each cycle brings only a chance of success, and each attempt could cost upwards of $15-20k. Needless to say, at this point I’m not doing so well following the “not stressing” or “not thinking about it” advice!
An Insurance Mix-up
This August when I got my period again, I just felt empty and defeated. We made the hard decision to pay for round 1 of IVF out of pocket, and to figure out the rest as it unfolded. As a last ditch effort, I had our doctor submit the case anyway even though we were told insurance wouldn’t cover it … and we were dumbfounded by the response. Our insurance said that our test results (from over half a year ago) showed sufficient abnormalities to approve IVF coverage. Had we submitted it sooner, it would’ve been approved immediately at the time. I’ve never felt so frustrated and relieved simultaneously.
Where We’re At
Last month we officially started IVF. Probably the most emotionally loaded three letters I’ve ever typed. The fertility journey is a roller coaster, and one of the hardest parts is you never know how far along the ride you are. The ultimate unknown and worst part, is that you could go through it without success. That you do all of it for just a chance to be a mother, and you might have to do it again and again.
Throughout it all, I’ve felt ashamed and frustrated that my body couldn’t do something that a woman should be able to do. Lonely because there was no one to talk to who I felt would understand. Jealous every time there was a new pregnancy announcement, especially from those who weren’t even trying. Guilt, for even feeling that way. Left behind as I watched seemingly every friend and peer graduate onto the next chapter, wondering when it’d be our turn. And silly, knowing how many women go through years of infertility, miscarriages, and so much worse compared to me.
But sometimes, you just have to focus on what’s right in front of you. And in this case, that meant confronting the cooler full of syringes that arrived on our doorstep. As someone who turns into a 5-year old girl at the sight of needles, the daily injections and blood drawings never got easier. And then there were all the unnatural changes to my body from the hormones. The feeling of having no control over the outcome. This week, while waiting alone in pre-op before egg retrieval surgery, I was fighting nausea from the IV and felt tears start to roll down my face uncontrollably. A nurse came in and asked why I was crying, and I just couldn’t explain and didn’t want to have to explain. It was both nothing in particular and everything all at once.
Now, I’m writing this recovering on the couch, wrapped in a heating pad, awaiting news on how many embryos made it and will continue on to the next step. Infertility and IVF gets mentioned so much these days – whether it’s on TV or through a friend – it almost seems commonplace. But that shouldn’t take away from how tremendously brave and strong each woman is throughout her unique journey. It’s something we shouldn’t be afraid of talking about. Because it’s something that no one should have to take on alone.
So whether you have kids or don’t want kids; whether this topic is far off in your future or you’re in the middle of it right now – thank you for lending an ear and letting me open up.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Jean. I can only imagine the fear, pain and anger you must be going through. I have been following your blog for over 4 years now and have always admired how kind and likeable you come across. I’m wishing you and Nick all the love in the world and hope your journey will be successful very soon. All the best from Zurich, Switzerland. Never give up!
I am thinking about you. I went through IVF 28 years ago (3 X), when nobody knew about it. I am glad you are sharing. It was hard to endure silently as a couple. We ended up conceiving and have an amazing 24 year old son who lives in Boston. I wish you only success and allow yourself to feel what ever you need to feel. It is such an emotional journey.
Im your long time silent reader but like others this post has moved me. You have such amazing courage to share this very personal post especially when you are still in the thick of it, often ppl will only share their stories once they are out of it and have closure. I have gone through the same thing, the same feeling, the same loneliness not able to talk to anyone for fear of hurting even more – this post would have touched and empower so many others feeling the same way and i applaud you for being so real and honest. My miracle baby finally arrived after 2 rounds of ivf. i really hope things will work out for you and nick and whatever happens please stay positive. God bless.
Jean, you and Nick deserve a special “thank you” from the bottom of our hearts.
Your bravery, strength, and resilience are truly precious. I hope all this passes soon enough for you and your wishes are answered. Either way, hold each other tight and know you have each other (and your families and friends). And all of us are rooting for you both!
As a physician and a mom, I have seen and felt multiple stories of IVF and you have described it so clearly and so well.
God bless and thank you for sharing. I know you have helped so many going thru this now and tomorrow.
hugs,
A
Thank you for sharing. You are so strong and courageous. Praying for you and your journey to motherhood. Even though I don’t know you personally I know you will be the greatest mom someday 🌸
Jean, thanks for sharing. It’s important to share as so many women struggle with infertility. I am also currently undergoing my first round of IVF. Getting closer to my egg retrieval. I wish you luck with the outcome. It only takes one egg so don’t get caught up in the numbers. Keep the hope and try to stay positive. You are not alone. Sending baby dust!
Jean, this post hits hard today. My husband and I were overjoyed to announce our little bundle on November 15, after our 12-week ultrasound. This past Friday, after not feeling right all week, I went to the doctor and they did an US and there was no heartbeat. I was almost 11 weeks pregnant. The empty feeling, the silent feeling is unbearable. I’m 35, a geriatric mother by definition, and I can feel my clock ticking. This morning I am waiting for a call from the hospital to time the procedure, and it’s a sick feeling. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing your personal struggle among the posts of beautiful clothing and handbags. It humanizes you for those like us who only see the fancy, perfect life. It also encourages me to do what I’ve wanted to do since Friday…share. It makes it all a much less lonely experience. I wish you love and luck on this journey. Be gentle on yourselves. And if all else fails, try Bora bora. That’s how we got Lucky with our first princess when I was 33. ❤️
I’m so sorry. That’s all there is to say. If you ever want a place online to go, I love the subreddit for infertility, /r/infertility. It’s a great place without some of the annoying nonsense I see elsewhere.
This was so alarming at so many levels. Going through your facebook posts, reading your wedding stories and seeing (appearance) how happy you guys are.. and then this post, is a complete case reversal.
In India (Asia), actually we don’t talk about all this and you’re right, those advices come free of cost. Kudos to you guys for being so brave and taking this step.
It made me think of all those women who get pregnant on time, deliver on time and that too (a natural birth). They are actually lucky, right?
I hope to hear good news soon.
Good luck!
Hello,
This was my first time reading your blog. I am sure you are being flooded by well-wishers on your journey through IVF, so I hope you do not mind having another one 🙂
I, too, went through infertility years ago. My hubby and I had been married 2 years when we began trying for a baby, but after 1 year of being unsuccessful , we began infertility testing. I went through to hysterosalpingogram to ensure my Fallopian tubes weren’t blocked; my hubby got checked by urologists to make sure his reproductive organs were fine. We both ended up finding out that my hubby had low motility and low sperm production, and I had a tipped uterus that made it more difficult for conception and implantation.
We went through 2 round of unsuccessful IUIs before having 2 IVFs. We went through the same emotions you are going through due to hormonal changes, learning about others getting knocked up just by looking at each other, etc. I especially felt hopeless, mad, and negative about the whole experience. We did not tell our families about the 2 IUIS and the 1st IVF. Just like you, as a fellow Asian, we felt this was super private and did not think our families would need to know, and if they did, we did not want them to be worried. After the first unsuccessful IVF, I was so depressed I needed to speak with the IVF Center’s in-house counselor, who encouraged me to share this experience with our families. We took her advice and so we did, and it was great receiving so much support, as both our parents were eager to help us become parents and promote to 1st Time grandparents.
Unfortunately after the 2nd IVF did not work, we were in a bad place. Physically and emotionally, I was drained, and my hubby felt hopeless. He did not handle being around friends and family with kids well— at least I wanted to try to be there and happy for others, but it was too hard for him to put up a front.
Also, we both did acupuncture and brewed Chinese herbal medicine every week, along with the IUIs and IVFs to help along the process.
We were about to try 3rd round of IVF when we found out we were expecting. We were happy but more nervous about going through another d miscarriage (we had 2 prior to infertility testing). My husband was “cautiously optimistic” and refused to do or say anything for fear of jinxing the baby. I ended up with a tough pregnancy with placenta previa, polyhydramnios, and being unable to walk. When I finally delivered via emergency C-section after inducing, being in labor for 23 hours, I finally got to see my baby boy. The emotions flooded al over the place: Happiness, relief, etc.
After Nathan was born, we decided to not go in birth control, as we knew we have a hard time conceiving. After 2 years, we decided that we would not go for IVF again, as it would be way too stressful going through that process while caring for a toddler who had some developmental issues. But we did end up getting pregnant again naturally, and we ended up welcoming our 2nd baby boy when Nathan was about to turn 4.
Although we we conceived naturally after unsuccessful infertility treatments, we learned so much about being patient and being grateful for what opportunities through medical technology and family support. I know that it may seem at times your dream is a far reach, just know that no matter what, you will become a mom and dad in some way. We are here to support you all the way.
Thank you to be so open and share your journey. We are wainting for baby for almost four years. Both healthy, no problem founded. I have same feelings, same downs, I can agree with everything you wrote. I cried so many times. My friends doesn´t have one baby, but two babies now. We went through 3 rounds of IUI and next is IVF. Thank you to be open, you are not alone. You are so brave and I am sure, that you will have your rainbow baby <3
Thank you so much for sharing. As a fellow “petite” I follow you because I adore your fashion. Reading this blog however has brought another commonality between us. I too am going through the journey and have been for 7 years. I only started taking my infertility serious though after having an early miscarriage two years ago. I had found myself pregnant after struggling for so long , only to miscarry a week later (one day before we we were going to do the grand reveal to our parents). Those gifts to the grandparents-to-be still sit in my ottoman. What the experience did do was push me to finally go to a fertility clinic. Like you, after every test under the sun, there was “nothing wrong “. I have been at the clinic now for 2 years. Many low key treatments, 4 failed IUIs, and 2 more early miscarriages. It’s crazy how strong a woman is. I never knew that with all of that I would still find a silver lining “at least I could get pregnant.” Now I just have to make it stick! Although that is my personal positive mantra, God help the person who tries to feed that line to me!! Lol. At 34 years old, I too am now starting IVF, so you do not know how timely your blog is. I will pray for you and send positive vibes your way. Again, Thank you so much for sharing . -your fellow IVF sister
Hi Jean, I am a mom to my 10 year old boy, Ryan. I love this kid. Sometimes he amazes me. Reading your post was so captivating I really wish you and Nick are able to conceive any time soon. You are in my prayers. May the Lord bless you and Nick with children. Don’t despair I am sure you will be bless too. Have faith.
I have been reading your blog and social media for around 1 or 2 years and I would like to send me support to you as a Hong Kong fan. I wish your dreams come true soon but please remember that you do not need to feel ashamed as no one needs to be “something” or be “qualified at something” in order to be a real woman. Again, wish you all the best!! <3
Congratulations on such an emotional and personal post! Wishing you best of luck on your journey! Stay strong and positive. Everything happens for a reason.
Wow, in tears reading this, thank you for sharing. It must have been incredibly hard to write about. Just want to wish you all the luck in the world.
I’ve been following you for maybe 5-6 years?? This is a very brave post. Wish you lots and lots of healthy, strong embryos!! <3 <3 <3
Hi Jean,
It was a very emotional read bc I went through it as well. Our friends were going from no kids to seconds and all we had were miscarriages. I understand the frustration, anger, and a tad bit of jealousy with my friends. Needless to say, we had no other choice but did IVF. It was not an easy decision to make bc it was a huge financial commitment without any guarantees. We were among the very few that were fortunate enough to have only one healthy embryo each time. My daughter is now 5 and son is 2.
Miracles do happen and I went in to IVF without thinking that it could possibly fail. Stay positive and believe that it will happen. It’s not your fault that you are not pregnant. Everyone is different and I feel that we appreciate our kids much more after going through so much to have them.
Love always..and best wishes.
@xox129xox on Instagram – if you need someone to share your journey with.
Hi Jean, I am sorry both yourself and Nick are going through this. I was there before too but wasn’t until the extend of venturing into IVF. I can totally understand how you feel, the frustrations, the jealousy of knowing others having their own kids although you know you shouldn’t. The trying hard part not to think about it but it is just impossible. I just wanted to say, you are not alone and I wish both yourself and Nick the very best of luck. Baby dust to you.
You are incredible – keep going!!
Rebecca
xx
Reading your post hits so close to come for me. My husband and I have been trying for 5 years and this year we started fertility treatments only to find out nothing seems to be working. It makes me feel so inadequate as a women and it makes it so hard when everyone around you is having babies and moving on in life. Thank you for sharing. It reminds me that I’m not alone in this whole process.
You are an amazing woman and it takes a great deal of strength to share this. I know it will help many. Even though I am not trying to get pregnant there is something that I have been eagerly waiting for that has me chasing hope like a vulture. I wish to one day get married, but the older I get the harder it is. It is something I have always dreamed about. I thank you for sharing your story because it gave me courage to face the future no matter which way it turns. And I too hope to have kids one day. I truly hope this happens for you.
Thank you for sharing Jean. Hugs and best wishes.
I’ve been following you on Instagram for a long time now but I was never a blog reader. I’m a 26yo married woman who would like to be a mom someday in future and this caught my eye and drew me here. I’ve always looked up to you and have loved your posts, outfits and everything that you do because there’s something so positive about you. It breaks my heart that you have to go through this difficult time. So many women go through similar difficulties in life but no one opens up. Reading this has made me realise how difficult it must be for someone to discuss something like this when you’re blaming yourself and how brave you are for sharing such a personal experience. I’ll be praying for you. I hope you are blessed with a beautiful child or maybe twins? Who knows. Lots of love. ♥️
Jean, I am wishing you all the best, and want you to know how stunningly brave you are. The idea of keeping pregnancy struggles private really took a punch to my family and my heart, and I promise you that sharing your story will undoubtably Bring you more comfort and peace.
My sister lost her baby last month, 5 months into her pregnancy, and my mother was adamant she keep quiet about her “failure”. We were so heartbroken and ultimately, sharing her experience brought so many friends together to share their stories and find comfort in knowing how common it is.
I have so much love and respect for women who have to go through pregnancy struggles, and I truly truly wish you the best in your health, and the health of you and nick’s future child(ren).
Stay strong, rocking your baby to sleep will be worth every tear you shed along the way. Xx
Oh wow when I saw the needle, I was about to faint myself. I didn’t know it was such a painful journey, in my mind it was just a lab session. I guess I’ve watched too many movies. It is such a difficult decision and I assume you never know when to start or to stop, how far to go and how much it will hurt, physically and emotionally. I really just wish you all the best, and lots of love!
I went through the same thing and after 10 years I finally got pregnant from a donor egg. Don’t ever give up and just keep praying.
You’re brave.
Prayers all the way from Brunei.
Hi Jean! Thank you for articulating what I was and have been feeling.
My husband and I have been married for 17 years now. We got married when I was 25 and decided to go on the pill for the 1st year of our marriage. After about 4-5 yrs we went to an ob-gyn and was eventually referred to a fertility specialist.
The diagnosis was that both me & my husband are normal but together we just couldn’t get pregnant. My ob-gyn even said that with different partners, we are likely to be successful.
They called it ‘unexplained infertility’ and in Canada about 10-20% have this.
And so invitro was the next step.
At the time, nothing in the invitro process was included in our healthcare benefit. This means we had to pay for all the fees- registration ($500), dr visits and injections up to the actual procedure which was $15k.
As there was a small chance (10-15%) that it would be successful, we ended up deciding not to do it.
Our reason was that whether or not the procedure is successful, we would end up with a large debt.
It was heartbreaking for me as I have always loved children even when I was still in elementary.
It was also difficult because my husband never showed how he was feeling. Everytime I would bring up my wanting to have a baby he would just shrug and not say anything else.
It was also difficult seeing all tour friends having their 1st, 2nd, 3rd babies. I felt what you felt- all of it. The jealousy, sadness, guilt, emptiness, and at some point mad. Mad at myself and even God.
I hated it when couples who were pregnant or have babies gush how they were blessed. It made me wonder, dows that mean I’m not because I don’t have a baby?!? Then I feel guilty because I understand what they mean.
There would be times when I’d cry seeing babies/ kids knowing that I don’t have any.
Thank you for sharing what you have been through and what you are going through. I wish you all the luck and blessings that you will be successful.
From a fellow Asian…
Dearest Jean,
I don’t even know if you remember me, you published my photo on your blog once and we exchanged some messages <3. I am a mother of two boys and have been following you forever.
I went through a lot since that time we corresponded. I got divorced, which was a shock and probably worst time of my life. I got brain cancer with only 10% chance of survival (it's been 2 years, seems I am the lucky one at the moment <3)
I always admired you. Seeing you on social media, your blog and youtube put a smile on my face even in these worst of times. I couldn't imagine I could admire you even more. Until todays post.
My heart goes to you and I wish there was something I could do to put just a small smile on your face.
I wish you all the piece of mind there is. I talked openly about my illness to people too and got lot of support. But also some unsolicited advice. Things like don't stress, don't think about it… well they are easy to say but impossible to do.
You don't have to listen to anybody. You are such a role model and you made all these great decisions in life. I wish I was as smart and responsible as you are. You will do the best that is there to be done. I believe it will happen for you and will pray for you. <3
Sending love, Bara
This is so powerful
And more than yourself it will help other women going thru same pain.
I have faith God will answer your prayers, he is faithful.
Stay strong, don’t give up!
Jean,
Thank you for writing this. I know exactly how you feel and what you’re going through. I went through 3 retrievals and 3 transfers and is starting my 4th IVF this month. You are right, we go into this not knowing if we will succeed or not but we do it because there is a chance of success. That is why I keep on trying and trying. Thank you for being open about this. Makes me feel less alone. Stay strong. Good luck and baby dust to you.
Jean, thank you for sharing such a personal story and journey. Sending you hugs from afar!
Thank you so much for sharing. As I read your post, I just kept nodding and saying “I know” and wanted to give you a hug. My husband and I have been trying for two years and started seeing our RE in January. The infertility roller coaster beat us up really good….and then we were hit by Hurricane Harvey a few weeks before we were scheduled to start the STIM phase. We lost our home but did not want to stop our IVF plans. I don’t know if losing our home was distracting us from IVF or IVF was distracting us from losing our home. Whatever it was, we knew we had to keep taking a step forward each day. I also cried uncontrollably in pre-op ahead of egg retrieval two weeks ago and it is exactly as you said. It was about nothing and everything all at once. We meet with our RE this week to go over our final embryo report. Only a handful of family and friends know about our journey. It’s my way of protecting my heart. I know everyone would have the best of intentions but I wouldn’t be able to handle the questions and unsolicited advice. It would be too much for my already battered heart. The seemingly endless cycles of hope, denial, anger, some more denial, acceptance, and ultimately deep sadness with each negative pregnancy test….rinse and repeat. These days, after having literally weathered a storm, we are so thankful to be together and safe and will continue our IVF journey with renewed hope. I am praying for you and Nick.
Thank you so much for sharing Jean. My husband and I went through a lot of infertility treatments before becoming pregnant. I pray everything will work out and that you will soon be sharing your pregnancy journey with us. ❤️
Jean,
Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve been following your blog for almost 3 years now. Not only do I love your outfits but I just love your spirit, love, positivity, and now your vulnerability.
My husband and I have been “trying” for now a year but unofficially trying for more than that. I felt like I was writing what you were writing. Every emotion from being positive to just defeat to feeling alone to jealousy back through the cycle. I’m living it right now. I cried the day one of my best friend told me she got pregnant while using condoms. I lost it. And then felt like a horrible person for not being to be happy for her.
My husband and I haven’t gotten tested yet. And are seeing a fertility specialist beginning of next year. I fear for the results. Wishing for the best news but thinking that the best news won’t bring me peace.
Though I’ve never met you in person your post makes me feel connect … like I have a friend who is going through it with me. I felt alone (even though my husband has been supportive) until now.
Thank you so much for sharing! And hope you and Nick will shortly have good news!
I don’t comment on post but this post brought tears to my eyes. I’ve been down your road, unfortunate for me, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But I have a good feeling things will work out for you. 🙂
Jean, it is so courageous of you to publish this personal struggle of yours. I have nothing but respect and admiration for you. It’s not easy to go through this while juggling the many roles we have as women, and in your case, a blog alongside multiple forms of social media. Thank you for sharing your journey.
i suffered secondary infertility after i had my first child. i also have suffered 2 miscarriages over the years. but don’t loose hope. i was fortunate enough to have another boy through an IUI process in boston. after 4 years, i conceived naturally with my 3rd child, a girl. you’re surrounded by the best healthcare in the country. even before i had my first child, they said it’s impossible for me to have children because of my condition. so, never give up!!! miracles do happen. everyday. xo
Wishing you all the best through this journey. Your bravery in sharing, but most of all going through the procedures is admirable.
Thank you for sharing your personal story and I hope it will empower you! You can do this and you have that strength. I pray for you and Nick for a successful IVF! Don’t give up hope!
Thanks for sharing something so personal and yet will help so many women going thru the same trials and tribulations! When my husband and I started trying, half of my friends got pregnant within a month or two of trying and the other half were going thru IVF. I didn’t know which side I would fall towards, so it was scary. I really hope you and Nick get your good news soon! The more we know, I feel like the more power we have. Thank you for sharing! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am a petite half asian and your story today is very honest and inspiring to all. I wish you luck on your journey!
I am praying for you and Nick 🌱. God’s blessings to you both ♥️
I just wanted to say good luck and all the best. Being an Asian, I’m totally agree with you. Becoming a mum is always my dream when I was just a little kid. I went through a lot of test and ultrasound just as you did, but nothing happens. Until one day, my hubby told me, it’s ok, as long as both of us are happy with our life, everything is going to be fine. So, we leave the baby plan aside. We continue our life without even thinking about it. And quietly, I got pregnant naturally without any medication and professional assistance from any fertility specialist. We are blessed with a baby boy in 2014 and we felt complete now. What I’m trying to tell you here is just relax and stop thinking about all the negative things. Try your very best and leave the rest to God.
Thank you for opening up about your struggles with pregnancy. My husband and I are currently trying without result, and it definitely weighs on you emotionally. It’s also frustrating to see what feels like, everyone around you, getting pregnant so easily, when it’s been something you’ve been wanting for so long. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this, but it’s refreshing to read about all of the women who have gone through similar experiences and come out with beautiful blessings on the other side. ❤️
Jean,
All you describe I remember feeling myself on my own IVF journey. Probably the most trying and lonely time of my life. There simply are no words for how hard it is. Thinking of you as a sister who has walked the same path.
Thank you for sharing this. Wishing you and Nick all the best.
Thank you for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you. Growing up in a Chinese household, we definitely don’t talk about fertility struggles and such so it’s very hard to answer when relatives comment about why we don’t have kids yet, etc. I hope your round of IVF is successful. I’m so glad you have a supportive husband like Nick. Please continue to share (if you feel like it) as I’m sure your readers wish you nothing but the best.
Jean, I echo the sentiments of the other women here and appreciate your honest feelings! Not easy to open until like this. You are indeed not alone with this struggle. I am thinking positive thoughts that the baby you and Nick desire will come soon. ((Hugs))