When it comes to the women in my family (or maybe it’s Asian culture), personal issues are supposed to remain just that – personal. It was only very recently that my mom opened up to me, sharing about the pain and loss she went through as a woman and as a mother. Things she had kept internalized for years that I never knew about. Watching her raise me and my two younger brothers, I saw firsthand being a mom isn’t easy. But what I was never really prepared for was the emotional and physical strain of trying to become a mom.
While I have all the admiration in the world for women who fight their battles quietly, I’m opening up about something very personal in this post. It’s different from the curated version of my life you usually see on my social media, but I think it’s important that we can talk about this kind of struggle without fear of stigma.
The Frustration Cycle
We all have friends who don’t want kids or who are indifferent (“If it happens, it happens”). I respect that, but I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom. Once Nick and I decided to start a family, we naively thought it would happen right away. When it didn’t after several months, I started tracking my ovulation like a hawk (I think Ovia overtook Instagram as my most-used app!) And after that, we probably tried every wives’ tale in the book – Mucinex, “special” lube, headstands. Lots and lots of headstands. You try to keep the negative thoughts from creeping into your head, but it’s hard. There’s always this whisper … maybe there’s something wrong with me.
As time went on, the pregnancy announcements that seemingly surrounded us eventually became babies and then first birthday parties. And while we were genuinely happy for our friends’ milestones, at the same time it was like a depressing re-run that I had to watch on repeat. Every cycle the same. High hopes, scheduling, timing, followed by waiting, and then frustration. And shame. And anger. And always, sadness.
Getting Tested
Earlier this year, we finally decided to see a fertility specialist and get tested. It was a few days of getting poked, prodded, and dyed, and plenty of surprise “oh, insurance doesn’t cover that part” bills. When it was over, I was almost wishing for something definitively wrong so we could just “fix” it. But our doctor told us everything looked fine, and started us down a 6-month plan of fertility treatments. Meanwhile, everyone would offer their own advice. Do acupuncture. Don’t stress. Work less. And of course that one line of advice that undoes itself as soon as it’s uttered…“Just don’t think about it.” During this time, the once innocuous question of “so when are you guys having kids?” by well-intending friends and pesky aunts became one more pill to swallow and politely smile through.
After months of the less-invasive treatments without success, the next step would be In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). A more invasive, more expensive, and even more emotionally draining procedure.
For those who aren’t familiar, the IVF process starts with a few weeks of daily self-injections into the abdomen to essentially trick your ovaries into becoming an egg factory. Your doctors monitor egg progress at the crack of dawn almost daily by drawing blood and doing vaginal ultrasounds (let’s just say, it’s not an EXTERNAL ultrasound), and then determine your injection dosages for that night. Next, surgery is performed to retrieve as many eggs as possible, which are then fertilized externally with sperm before being transferred back into the ovaries as an embryo.
However, since our tests indicated nothing was wrong, we were told our insurance would not cover IVF. And without insurance, it can become quite expensive because each cycle brings only a chance of success, and each attempt could cost upwards of $15-20k. Needless to say, at this point I’m not doing so well following the “not stressing” or “not thinking about it” advice!
An Insurance Mix-up
This August when I got my period again, I just felt empty and defeated. We made the hard decision to pay for round 1 of IVF out of pocket, and to figure out the rest as it unfolded. As a last ditch effort, I had our doctor submit the case anyway even though we were told insurance wouldn’t cover it … and we were dumbfounded by the response. Our insurance said that our test results (from over half a year ago) showed sufficient abnormalities to approve IVF coverage. Had we submitted it sooner, it would’ve been approved immediately at the time. I’ve never felt so frustrated and relieved simultaneously.
Where We’re At
Last month we officially started IVF. Probably the most emotionally loaded three letters I’ve ever typed. The fertility journey is a roller coaster, and one of the hardest parts is you never know how far along the ride you are. The ultimate unknown and worst part, is that you could go through it without success. That you do all of it for just a chance to be a mother, and you might have to do it again and again.
Throughout it all, I’ve felt ashamed and frustrated that my body couldn’t do something that a woman should be able to do. Lonely because there was no one to talk to who I felt would understand. Jealous every time there was a new pregnancy announcement, especially from those who weren’t even trying. Guilt, for even feeling that way. Left behind as I watched seemingly every friend and peer graduate onto the next chapter, wondering when it’d be our turn. And silly, knowing how many women go through years of infertility, miscarriages, and so much worse compared to me.
But sometimes, you just have to focus on what’s right in front of you. And in this case, that meant confronting the cooler full of syringes that arrived on our doorstep. As someone who turns into a 5-year old girl at the sight of needles, the daily injections and blood drawings never got easier. And then there were all the unnatural changes to my body from the hormones. The feeling of having no control over the outcome. This week, while waiting alone in pre-op before egg retrieval surgery, I was fighting nausea from the IV and felt tears start to roll down my face uncontrollably. A nurse came in and asked why I was crying, and I just couldn’t explain and didn’t want to have to explain. It was both nothing in particular and everything all at once.
Now, I’m writing this recovering on the couch, wrapped in a heating pad, awaiting news on how many embryos made it and will continue on to the next step. Infertility and IVF gets mentioned so much these days – whether it’s on TV or through a friend – it almost seems commonplace. But that shouldn’t take away from how tremendously brave and strong each woman is throughout her unique journey. It’s something we shouldn’t be afraid of talking about. Because it’s something that no one should have to take on alone.
So whether you have kids or don’t want kids; whether this topic is far off in your future or you’re in the middle of it right now – thank you for lending an ear and letting me open up.
My name is Joan. and here is my Testimony of my IVF case:
I had to undergo IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) as there was a medical
history of me having endometriosis. I had been trying to get
pregnant for about 5 years with all kinds of fertility treatments and
nothing worked. I finally started going to a friend doctor for
Acupuncture and still had no success on getting pregnant. Then,
my acupuncturist introduced me to Dr. Bash(herbal specialist) ,
who practices Traditional African Medicine and utilizes herbs for infertility. Dr. Bash put me on his herbs, oils, and a special
diet. I did his treatment along with acupuncture for 3 month. Then, I did my IVF recently and am pregnant. I can’t thank Dr. Bash enough!! He is
always sincere and brave in all that he does for
people. I highly recommend him to anyone who is seeking IVF,infertility treatment.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m considering IVF as well. Your post reflects how I’ve been feeling. Going through infertility treatments is emotionally and physically draining. And it’s lonely at times.
What an honest post. While I’m in the other camp when it comes to kids, your post has really touched me. Wishing you all the best in this journey, and know that you are not alone!
Dear Jean,
I really wish I could get into my phone screen to give you a hug and thank you for sharing your personal story.
I am a mum of a 16 month old… and while I was enjoying this new phase of my life my best friend was undergoing an IVF treatment for 3 years and she too was fine but as they couldn’t conceive naturally and even though I knew she was happy for me, I could see the sadness in her eyes… but just last month she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl so as hard as it is now, please hang in there… seeing the happiness on my best friend face now gives me more joy then anything and I’m sure you will have that happiness too.
Sending loads of luv and wishes and you are a beautiful strong woman who will be an exceptional mum soon.
I’m sorry to hear how difficult it has been for Nick and you as you’re trying to conceive. I’ve wondered from time to time when you might decide to have a baby, but I didn’t want to ask or assume since I remember what C and I went through a few years ago. I was able to identify with a lot of what you shared because it took us 1.5 years before I became pregnant. I went through similar cycles of hopefulness and despondency, bracing myself when I anticipated another one of our friends wanting to share their happy news of their pregnancy and eventually acknowledging that we could be childless. I came to a point where I decided that if I were ever to become pregnant, I wanted to tell others that it didn’t come easily. When I reflect back, I realized that those experiences and challenges refined my desires and character. So in a way, every part of the journey is meaningful, no matter what the outcome may be.
I hope that your recovery from the surgery has been going smoothly and that your swelling is less. I’ll be praying that you’ll have peace as you go through this next phase of IVF. Take care Jean! Warmly, P.
I know from my own experience what you are going through, and I am really sorry you have to go through it. It’s really hard to make sense of the disappointment.
Thank you for writing about this. I personally know so many women who have struggled to become a mom, including me. Maybe it’s the field I’m in (I’m a pediatric subspecialty physician). During residency, every time one of us experienced a miscarriage, we would initially feel like we were alone, and we soon realized that there were many of us who had similar stories. It was made harder by certain rotations we had to be on (NICU, well-baby nursery) watching in anger and frustration and sadness as month after month, the second line on the pregnancy test remained stubbornly absent while there were so many women who got pregnant so easily or by accident. I won’t say that it will definitely happen for you or offer you the usual advice. What I will say is allow yourself to feel everything you’re feeling, regardless of what that emotion is – alone (you’re not, there’s a huge community out there that is becoming increasingly vocal), scared, frustrated, anxious, resentful, angry, hopeful – they are all legitimate responses. Be gentle with yourself and Nick, and know that a whole bunch of internet stranger/friends are crossing all the fingers and toes and sending you all the sticky dust in the world.
I will pray for a successful IVF & pregnancy. Hang in there!
Sending you and Nick love and prayers from afar! Thank you for sharing so openly with us. Know that we are rooting for you guys! <3
Jean, thank you so much for sharing this deeply personal journey. I have read and enjoyed your blog for years, but haven’t commented before. Thank you for speaking to the shame and feeling that there’s “something wrong” with not being able to do the “natural” thing our bodies are supposed to as women. When I struggled to nurse my first child I felt the same shame, but I know it isn’t the truth, and I so appreciate you bringing that to light. I am keeping you and Nick in my thoughts and prayers and hope all the best for you!!
Jean, thank you sharing your story. I’ve been following you for years. Hearing this story from someone I respect so much is really empowering and encouraging. My love to you and Nick.
Jean, I just started reading your blog a few months ago. I only follow a few blogs but I always get excited when I see you’ve posted a new one. You are so good at finding the beauty in things. Thank you for sharing how even in the most difficult and trying of times, you can find beauty in honesty and openness. I will be praying for you and Nick.
Hi Jean! I’ve been a reader for a while now, way back when and then I found your blog again! I was literally just thinking about you and kids. Thank you for opening up to us readers about your journey and struggle. Praying & wishing the best for you and Nick!
I am writing with tears in my eyes, I know that journey all too well. I know the frustration, the expense $30,000 out of pocket( we were almost 12 years ago) people telling me to relax ( when I wanted to yell “it’s male infertility!”)The poking(210 times to be exact) at specific times of the day and evening the endless visits to physicians office. But don’t give up your inner spirit find it and good things will come your way! After all of that I was blessed with our daughter. She is now 11 1/2. We were only able to have one. But so Blessed to have our miracle baby! I am wishing you best of luck, hope and prayers! Hugs on your journey.
Hope you are better now. I hope all your maternity dreams come true. I can´t imagine what you have been thru.
best wishes from argentina
Jean, my heart aches for you. I have so enjoyed following your blog as you’re beautiful and have amazing style, but also seem to have a heart of gold. Thank you for sharing. Not two months ago I wouldn’t have read this with the emotions I have now. I was always one of those people who could’ve been okay without kids (and I still think I could be), but I’ll be 33 soon and starting to finally think maybe we should actually start trying now. It’s hard not to think about it often! Sending good vibes your way!
There is strength in sharing our story. Thank you for telling yours. I’d love to tell you a bit of mine, in case any readers here find strength in the length and shear delirious insanity that is the journey to become a family.
My husband and I have been married 15 years, but we didn’t start “trying” to have kids until 3 years married. There was charting, there was mucinex, there was headstanding. There was the being told that our insurance covered no infertility. Tests were placed by our sympathetic doctor as much as possible under “menstrual pain” to ease the financial burden. There was varicocle surgery (for him) – just in case, what the heck?
There was discovering that our insurance *did* cover infertility, but it was our policy from the previous year, not the one we currently had when his work changed their coverage. There was the embarrasement of standing up in front of a board of directors for my husband’s work (mostly middle aged men with as many children as they could wish) and pleading our case for the fact that the coverage was not accurately explained to employees and therefore retroactively deserved to be covered. (They didn’t go along with that, but they did give us a tiny “guilt check” for $500 and had the satisfaction of seeing me cry in public.)
There was clomid, there was injectibles, the weight gain, ovary over stimulation, and then follicle reduction. So many shots.
Finally, we came to the option of IVF. At that point in the road, we turned course and looked toward adoption. Maybe it was the $$$ out of pocket, the uncertainty of results, maybe it was just how darn tired I was of needles, but we threw in the towel and started our adoption paperwork that week. Fast forward six months later and we had adopted (through a crazy series of circumstances) a tiny orphan baby boy from Pakistan, who is now 10 years old. We now have three boys, the younger two are from South Korea – and our youngest was a surprise! He is the half brother (same birth mother) of our middle child, we got a phone call out of the blue asking if we wanted to add him to our family.
So, with 10, 7, and 6 year old boys (and crazy ones at that!) we were certain our family was complete. Then this May out of the blue I missed my period and finally broke down and took a test at 5:00 am (as long as I could hold my pee!) on Mother’s Day. It was positive for pregnancy. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I cried (tears of sadness, if I’m being honest, and of fear – what would my sweet boys think of this?), we wept together and spent the next two months in complete disbelief that I was indeed pregnant.
Here I sit, advanced maternal age (37), with a seemingly healthy baby girl due on New Year’s Day, and I think “you just can’t make this stuff up.” I still haven’t wrapped my head around being pregnant and starting over as a mother (and I’ve done that part three times!).
Life is a journey, it hands you lots of crazy, but the hardness that it handed us made my husband and I closer, stronger and more together than ever before. It also brought us the three most amazing little boys that I feel like I never could have produced if I tried. And now, we add to the madhouse a baby sister.
Infertility is a sad and silent place. We need our stories to be told, our voices to be heard, and our pain to be shared. Together we can be stronger. Much love!
Jean- you are my hero! I’ve been following your blog for awhile and had always admired your sense in fashion. Being single and aging I’ve decided to go through a round of egg freezing. The results did not turn out as expected (along with the emotional and financial strain) and I’ve felt really alone in the process. Thank you for sharing. It’s comforting to know that other ladies go through similar experiences but also different in our own ways
Hi Jean, Thank you for sharing the most intimate part of your life. I can totally relate to your experience. 2 miscarriages and with obsessive ovulation tracking for 2 yrs I had no luck getting pregnant. Finally resorted to IVF and my first cycle ended up being ectopic. Despite losing all hope I stuck with it and went in second time. I must say it was worth all the effort and pain. My 3 month old beautiful little girl has brought so much joy in our life. So stay positive. Sending you all my prayers!
The last I commented, I wrote how proud your Cantonese sisters are of your gracious and kind attitude! My heart aches for what you are enduring, yet so proud of your resilience! Praying for a successful journey!
加油! 希望你一切健康!
This was a lovely post. Thanks for sharing your journey. I wish you and Nick the best of luck.
i’m sorry that you and nick have to go through with this. i’m sorry any women and men go through infertility.
in an attempt to ‘busy’ your time while you wait for results, i’ve collected some online comics that resonated with me as a bystander. (someone near me is going through the same thing so i wanted to understand the experience more to support her)
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/kids
https://www.thecut.com/2016/09/price-of-infertility-ivf-cost-c-v-r.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/moms-comics-show-how-isolating-and-draining-infertility-is_us_5978d28ee4b0c95f37610387
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/advanced_technology.png
Jean, I have been reading your blog for several years because I love your style and advice – and I’m so glad I got to read this post too. I haven’t come to the point in my life where I’m trying to have kids, but I can’t even imagine what it must be like to go through your struggle (and the struggle of many other women – you are not alone!). I have my fingers crossed for you and Nick. It looks like from all the other comments on this post that you have many other fingers crossed as well! Thank you so much for sharing.
Jean, thank you for sharing your story. I, too, have been struggling to get pregnant despite all tests coming back normal. I am at peace now and put my faith in God. May God bless you and your husband and give you strength to go on. Stay strong!
Jean, I have followed you for a few years now and I never leave a comment on your blog. You and I almost have the same weight, heights, and age. That’s why I find your blog is very helpful for me. I gave birth to a baby girl last year. This is not suggestion, but I find that gaining some weight do help with getting pregnant. You was slim like you when I tried to get conceived and I gained 40 pounds during my pregnancy. Now I am back to my normal. What I want to say is that mind your nutrition and don’t worry if you gain weight through the process. You body will be back after all of these, since you are naturally slim and that’s the thing in your gene.
Thank you for this post. I can’t imagine how difficult it was to write and publish, but it’s definitely something that should be discussed more openly.
Your willingness to share your personal story is incredibly brave. Best wishes to you and your husband as you continue this process.
Jean, Thank you for this very brave post. I’ve been down every road you describe myself. IVF was not something I ever fathomed going through. But then after a year of trying, there we were. With my husband’s rare issue, it was our only option other than prayers and a 5 percent chance of conceiving naturally. We had no insurance coverage, but we jumped in. My son just turned two and I am three months along with baby number two from my frozen embryos from my first round. Two of my closest friends are going through IVF right now. You are brave and not alone. Take care of yourself. The waiting on the embryo report is brutal. I hope you get good news soon!
As an Asian-American ER pharmacist also dealing with infertility, your post was very relatable. From the taboo nature of discussing infertility to having difficulty navigating our healthcare system to all the mixed emotions, you so eloquently put into words my own thoughts and feelings. Thank you, Jean, for sharing and helping to shed light on an important topic. Your post is very much appreciated. Rooting for Nick and you.
Thank you so much for sharing Jean. This is such a poignant post and I truly admire your courage to be so open about your experiences and your struggles. Wishing you all the best from the bottom of my heart!
I just wanted to add to the multitude of comments and send some virtual encouragement and support your way. You’re very brave to post about this, and I’m glad that your bravery spurred many readers to open up as well about their own experiences – it’s nice to be reminded that people don’t need to go through these things alone, that they can talk about it and receive love and support. Thank you for this, for bringing people together in such a positive way, and for being you.
Hi Jean,
Thank you so much for sharing such a personal yet informative experience on your blog. I really enjoy it. It gave us a glimpse of the process only those who have gone through could see, and it gave many others hope. I know we are lucky at this age in time where the world is technologically advanced enough to give us a chance to have baby due to whatever reason we couldn’t. Recently I found out my sister needed to rid her tubes and she was devastated how she could not have a baby naturally (via natural insemination). She needed IVF. Like you, she then questioned herself why she couldn’t do what most women could do and why did that happened to her, etc etc. She hasn’t start the inducing process yet, but right after I saw your story, I shared it with her.
Good luck and best wishes to you and Nick on this tough but beautiful journey! Thank you so much again! <3
Good luck ! Read your site all the time as I too am your height, I’m in the UK
Can’t believe you’ve posted this now as I’ve just started my 5th round of IVF after my last one ended in an ectopic pregnancy and surgery to remove my left tube
I too suffer from horrid jealous thoughts when hearing friends are pregnant it so unfair and want it to be me
I’m doing acupuncture, reiki, reflexology and many other treatments
I believe it will happen even though I’m 41 we’ve had blastocyst embryos and no medical issues
Good luck and all the best
Jean, thank you so much for sharing this. Sending you love and positivity as you and Nick continue through your IVF journey.
You are a brave beautiful soul! This was so touching & raw, I am praying that IVF works for you!
I usually don’t leave comments but this post touches me so much. Thanks for sharing your story. I wish you the best of luck!
Thank you for sharing this. I️ am one of those who have been lucky enough to not have to go through IVF but a couple of my friends have, and I️ had no idea that it was that hard. I️ can now be a better support and friend bc I️ understand a little better what it would be like. Your story brought tears to my eyes. We all have our trials, but anything dealing with motherhood and children is a special one.
Jean – Thank you for opening up and sharing your courageous personal journey. You and Nick are both so brave and inspiring to all of us who feel as if we “know ” you. There is not one of us who wouldn’t want to give you a huge hug or be a listening ear right now! We are all there in spirit. Whether we choose to bear children, or not (as I’ve chosen) or are somewhere along the journey to making that dream a reality – I can firmly say that your bravery, honesty and commitment has deeply touched all of our lives . Know there isn’t a follower here – in Boston and beyond – who isn’t fighting with you and sending all of their love. I know couples who have been through IVF and you are definitely not alone. You are an incredible woman and an inspiration as a couple – a formidable duo. (May I be so lucky to find the fierce commitment and tender love that you both share.)
Much love, and keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.
-Gwen Kennedy
Dear Jean,
Thank you for your bravery in sharing your story with everyone. I completely understand what you are going through, personally because my husband and I share a similar story. We have been battling with infertility ever since we got married back in 2009. You can read our IVF story here:
https://racetothebump.wordpress.com/
We kept a blog to document this season of our lives. To be honest, I have NEVER imagined at the age of 37, I would be childless. Leo and I have always wanted a big family – at least 3 kids! As our friends have moved onto extending their families, one baby at a time, today we stand feeling like we don’t belong anywhere. Being in last 30s without a family of my own, there isn’t seem to be a community for us. It’s a daily battle so I completely understand the jealousy, disappointment, fear, and heartache.
I have a deep longing in my heart to revamp our blog to focus more on our adoption process, letting people in again, and what it means to life in this season of our lives. What does it mean to LIVE in this season? I am still struggling with this question.
I only share with you in hopes that you know someone else is with you and Nick. I am Korean and my husband is Taiwanese. That comes with a whole list of battles, as you mention. Sharing personal struggles is not something we do in our culture, you are right. It’s hard. It’s also hard to try to break that mold and open us. That takes such courage.
My prayers and thoughts are with you, Jean!
Love,
Faith
I have been following your blog for a while now and never have I felt the need to comment until todays post. I was extremely touched by your story. Thank you for being so honest and sharing. I wish you and Nick all the best.
Jean, you’re such a wonderful and kindhearted person. I was just in Boston 2 weeks ago and was hoping I would bumped into you & Nick on the streets. Needless to say, my friend managed to get a glimpse of you while my family & I were headed to the airport to go back home. I wished I could see you to give you a big bear hug. You are an inspiration to all women. Praying for you and Nick and I’m sure you both will be wonderful parents!
Sending y’all lots of love!
Thank you for sharing and helping to remove this stigma! I hope you guys get all you want regarding a family no matter how it happens. And if you do get pregnant, as someone entering into trying, I v much look forward to pregnancy clothes recommendations 🙂
I love your blog… and I’m sorry you are going through the stress of IVF. I also had to go through IVF for my first child 13 years ago.. (got pregnant on my own three times after that!) I know the stress and the poking etc… just know that someday all this will be in your past and I truly believe that you will be a mother. Keep holding that thought high in your mind and you will get there. Hang in there momma! xoxo
I wish you the best Jean! I know all these negative feelings you have to fight, I had to wait for a while before getting pregnant, saw many of my friends had children easilly, had to answer questions from my family about when I will have children, experienced a miscarriage, etc. But I am now writing this while my 3 months little boy is falling asleep on me. Keep hoping, you will be a wonderful mum one day. Love from France, this really is a universal problem.
Thank you for sharing this Jean…my husband and I have been trying for almost 2 years now. I am in the same boat where I want to open up about it, but then people just keep telling me things I’ve already tried or have done. Babies are all being born from my friends and I’m like wtf is wrong with me? And then I had a miscarriage back in April and it broke me. I don’t wish that upon any woman. It was the most painful thing I’ve experienced. I’ve finally (sort of) gotten over it (some days it hits me) and we’ve starting trying again. I’ve been temping and using opks again and I’m now in the tww this cycle. I’m praying that your treatment goes well for you and know you’re not alone in all this! Hugs!
Jean,
I have followed your blog since college eight years ago- as a tiny Asian girl, you’ve bee my professional style icon for years- and the raw pain and authenticity apparent in this post has motivated me to finally stop lurking and send you some written love. 💓 In a world of Instagram filters and a “curated life”, as you put it, it’s incredibly brave of you to share your experience and you’re definitely making it just a *little* easier for other women to talk about IVF and infertility. My own Chinese mother struggled with infertility while conceiving me- an only child- and only now as an adult thinking about the timing of her own family one day do I begin to understand some tiny inkling of the love and hope and paranoia parents put on their children. I am so, so sorry the process has been so trying this far.
I don’t know if it’s down your alley, but if you haven’t listened to Matt and Doree’s Eggcellent Adventure I recommend it; it’s basically a podcast narrated by a couple about going through the IVF process and it’s genuinely touching, often funny and useful if you need to listen to a conversation and feel less alone.
You are so so brave and I admire you and your work so much and thank you for continuing to invite us into your life through this blog. Sending you well wishes. Xxxxh
I’ve been following your blog for years, and this is the first time I read the whole content, not just looking at your outfits.
You are so brave for all the difficulties, bad feelings and pain you’ve been through. I pray for good things to come to you both soon. Hug you!
Praying for you and Nick as you go through the procedure. I have a number of friends that are also having a hard time conceiving but do not have the funds to go through IVF. I also have a friend who waited 5 years and are now blessed with triplets through IVF 🙂 truly God makes all things beautiful in His time. I pray that you find comfort and know that the best is yet to come. 🙂 I’ve recently had a miscarriage but believe and trust that God has better plans for me and my husband.
Sending prayers and good vibes from Manila 🙂
I have been following your blog for awhile, as I simply love your style. Your post really spoke to me today. ((hugs))
Thank you so much for sharing it. I know it is so hard to be open about personal struggles, but every little bit makes you more real, and in a way you have all these friends out here hoping for you and each treatment along the way. Thank you again for being so brave. You are amazing.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I agree wholeheartedly that society doesn’t share enough about the heartaches associated with the journey to motherhood. I can definitely relate, with having had endometriosis and a miscarriage. I am sending prayers for a successful and peaceful process for you and Nick. I have been reading your blog for over 5 years now. My husband (who has zero interest in fashion) has heard my references to you so much that you are a household name! Your warmth as a person shines through your thoughtful and intelligent posts – much more than fashion blog but a lifestyle. You and Nick will be amazing and fashionable parents! Lots of love.
Jean, I’m so glad you shared this. I also know that I want to be a mom one day. I’m even further behind than you in that I’m not even engaged. I sometimes worry about infertility, and it gives me a lot of comfort to hear your story and the stories of other women. It makes me feel like I don’t need to worry so much because there are options and hope. I hope you get the beautiful baby you’re hoping for and we all get to see some cute baby pics.