When Trying is Trying

infertility and ivf_extra petite fashion blog
When it comes to the women in my family (or maybe it’s Asian culture), personal issues are supposed to remain just that – personal. It was only very recently that my mom opened up to me, sharing about the pain and loss she went through as a woman and as a mother. Things she had kept internalized for years that I never knew about. Watching her raise me and my two younger brothers, I saw firsthand being a mom isn’t easy. But what I was never really prepared for was the emotional and physical strain of trying to become a mom.

While I have all the admiration in the world for women who fight their battles quietly, I’m opening up about something very personal in this post. It’s different from the curated version of my life you usually see on my social media, but I think it’s important that we can talk about this kind of struggle without fear of stigma.

The Frustration Cycle

We all have friends who don’t want kids or who are indifferent (“If it happens, it happens”). I respect that, but I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom. Once Nick and I decided to start a family, we naively thought it would happen right away. When it didn’t after several months, I started tracking my ovulation like a hawk (I think Ovia overtook Instagram as my most-used app!) And after that, we probably tried every wives’ tale in the book – Mucinex, “special” lube, headstands. Lots and lots of headstands. You try to keep the negative thoughts from creeping into your head, but it’s hard. There’s always this whisper … maybe there’s something wrong with me.

As time went on, the pregnancy announcements that seemingly surrounded us eventually became babies and then first birthday parties. And while we were genuinely happy for our friends’ milestones, at the same time it was like a depressing re-run that I had to watch on repeat. Every cycle the same. High hopes, scheduling, timing, followed by waiting, and then frustration. And shame. And anger. And always, sadness.

Getting Tested

Earlier this year, we finally decided to see a fertility specialist and get tested. It was a few days of getting poked, prodded, and dyed, and plenty of surprise “oh, insurance doesn’t cover that part” bills. When it was over, I was almost wishing for something definitively wrong so we could just “fix” it. But our doctor told us everything looked fine, and started us down a 6-month plan of fertility treatments. Meanwhile, everyone would offer their own advice. Do acupuncture. Don’t stress. Work less. And of course that one line of advice that undoes itself as soon as it’s uttered…“Just don’t think about it.” During this time, the once innocuous question of “so when are you guys having kids?” by well-intending friends and pesky aunts became one more pill to swallow and politely smile through.

After months of the less-invasive treatments without success, the next step would be In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). A more invasive, more expensive, and even more emotionally draining procedure.

For those who aren’t familiar, the IVF process starts with a few weeks of daily self-injections into the abdomen to essentially trick your ovaries into becoming an egg factory. Your doctors monitor egg progress at the crack of dawn almost daily by drawing blood and doing vaginal ultrasounds (let’s just say, it’s not an EXTERNAL ultrasound), and then determine your injection dosages for that night. Next, surgery is performed to retrieve as many eggs as possible, which are then fertilized externally with sperm before being transferred back into the ovaries as an embryo.

However, since our tests indicated nothing was wrong, we were told our insurance would not cover IVF. And without insurance, it can become quite expensive because each cycle brings only a chance of success, and each attempt could cost upwards of $15-20k. Needless to say, at this point I’m not doing so well following the “not stressing” or “not thinking about it” advice!

ivf injections and medications

When it came to giving stomach injections, “nurse” Nick had to employ some creative distraction tactics

An Insurance Mix-up

This August when I got my period again, I just felt empty and defeated. We made the hard decision to pay for round 1 of IVF out of pocket, and to figure out the rest as it unfolded. As a last ditch effort, I had our doctor submit the case anyway even though we were told insurance wouldn’t cover it … and we were dumbfounded by the response. Our insurance said that our test results (from over half a year ago) showed sufficient abnormalities to approve IVF coverage. Had we submitted it sooner, it would’ve been approved immediately at the time. I’ve never felt so frustrated and relieved simultaneously.

ivf egg retrieval surgery extra petite

Nervously awaiting egg retrieval surgery, where as many eggs as possible are removed from the ovaries

Where We’re At

Last month we officially started IVF. Probably the most emotionally loaded three letters I’ve ever typed. The fertility journey is a roller coaster, and one of the hardest parts is you never know how far along the ride you are. The ultimate unknown and worst part, is that you could go through it without success. That you do all of it for just a chance to be a mother, and you might have to do it again and again.

Throughout it all, I’ve felt ashamed and frustrated that my body couldn’t do something that a woman should be able to do. Lonely because there was no one to talk to who I felt would understand. Jealous every time there was a new pregnancy announcement, especially from those who weren’t even trying. Guilt, for even feeling that way. Left behind as I watched seemingly every friend and peer graduate onto the next chapter, wondering when it’d be our turn. And silly, knowing how many women go through years of infertility, miscarriages, and so much worse compared to me.

But sometimes, you just have to focus on what’s right in front of you. And in this case, that meant confronting the cooler full of syringes that arrived on our doorstep. As someone who turns into a 5-year old girl at the sight of needles, the daily injections and blood drawings never got easier. And then there were all the unnatural changes to my body from the hormones. The feeling of having no control over the outcome. This week, while waiting alone in pre-op before egg retrieval surgery, I was fighting nausea from the IV and felt tears start to roll down my face uncontrollably. A nurse came in and asked why I was crying, and I just couldn’t explain and didn’t want to have to explain. It was both nothing in particular and everything all at once.

cramps and bloating after ivf egg retrieval surgery

Not a pregnancy photo! Pre and post-egg retrieval, both ovaries (typically the size of a grape) swell closer to the size of grapefruits

Now, I’m writing this recovering on the couch, wrapped in a heating pad, awaiting news on how many embryos made it and will continue on to the next step. Infertility and IVF gets mentioned so much these days – whether it’s on TV or through a friend – it almost seems commonplace. But that shouldn’t take away from how tremendously brave and strong each woman is throughout her unique journey. It’s something we shouldn’t be afraid of talking about. Because it’s something that no one should have to take on alone.

So whether you have kids or don’t want kids; whether this topic is far off in your future or you’re in the middle of it right now – thank you for lending an ear and letting me open up.

 

665 thoughts on “When Trying is Trying

  • Reply Danielle November 10, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    I’m sure there is nothing I can say that you haven’t heard before and I can’t even imagine how emotionally trying this has been for you, but I just wanted to say that I also come from a family that doesn’t really talk about personal things like this so I understand how awkward it can feel to open up about it. I will be keeping you and Nick in my thoughts, and I hope that soon this stressful and trying time turns to joy for you ❤

  • Reply HuskyGal November 10, 2017 at 11:20 pm

    Hi there. I’ve been following you for a few years and have benefited so many times from your fashion Recs. I’m fact, I’m wearing the Gibson fleece sweater right now!
    Thank you for having the courage to share your story. You are a strong, inspiring woman! I do understand what you mean by being Asian and keeping private. I haven’t spoken much about witnessing my father’s death ten years ago I guess because of … privacy. You’ve inspired me to talk about it. Maybe I will start with my husband. Thank you.

  • Reply nazareth November 11, 2017 at 5:13 am

    Hi Jean,

    I’m writting you from France. i love your style, yous lovely couple and the way you do chic and class everything (from a trip to Hawaii to a vegetables soup). But his… Oh my dear,this is your real YOU. Thanl you so much for open to your readers like that, and a I have to say that you are a brave and awesome woman. You are amazing and everything will be alright.

    Kind regards from Lyon (France)

  • Reply Jay me November 11, 2017 at 9:27 am

    I stumbled onto your blog accidentally this morning and I’m so greatful to see this article. We’ve been trying to for a few years, but just started seeing a doctor and this is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever been through as my husband refuses to talk about it. Thank you so much for acknowledging all of the emotions that go through it.

  • Reply Fernanda November 11, 2017 at 10:37 am

    Jean, I’ve been following you for over 5 years now I just adore your blog, your style, your writing, your beautiful personality and how down to earth you are. You have inspired me in so many ways and this post wasn’t different! We all love you, Jean! You will be a wonderful mom! Good luck! xoxo Fernanda

  • Reply Jennifer November 11, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    Hey girl! Amazing story to share of such a personal matter. I know In some way what you are going through as I decide since I am 37 and single still that I would electively freeze my eggs this year. For ten days I was giving myself injections of menopur, follistim, and ganirelix. I went through the retrieval and reukts were not as high as I expected. I was a little disappointed. So now I decide if I want to go through another cycle of treatments and another retrieval. My fertility doctor will do four in one year which I do not plan on doing-a second is my only thought here and unfortunately while the retrieval is something I don’t have to pay for again the meds I do and like you said it is not inexpensive. Just thought I would share my story and I wish you the best of luck!

    Jennifer

  • Reply G S November 11, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    I have been following your blog posts for about couple of years now. I always thought you are so beautiful. But after reading this post I say you are not just beautiful but incredibly brave. It takes lot of courage to open up on such personal topics. What you are going through is not easy. Words are not enough to describe the pain and emotions. But I wish you good luck for a positive result .Will pray for you and Nick. Stay strong.

  • Reply Nicole November 11, 2017 at 4:46 pm

    Thank you for your story. My own Nick and I are on year 5 of trying. After two failed IVFs and the blame resting on my shitty egg quality we are hoping to move to adoption. No easy feat after the $40k+ we just spent out of pocket on IVF. Adoption is typically around $20k which many people don’t seem to realize. The money, the stress, the heartbreak, the well-meaning moronic things your friends say…just wanted you to know you are not alone.

  • Reply Kyle November 12, 2017 at 7:34 am

    Everyone thinks that pregnancy is the happiest time in your life. While that is true, for me it was the scariest and saddest too. My daughter has congenital heart disease, and at one day old was put on a life support machine called ECMO and I was told I should be prepared for her not to survive. She came off of it successfully and had her first heart surgery at two weeks old. I didn’t get to hold her after she was born, they took her away as soon as she came out. I got to hold her for the first time when she was three weeks old. She had a second open heart surgery at 6 weeks old. She has lived her entire little life in the PICU. I can’t breastfeed her because her vocal cords have been damaged from intubation, so she has a feeding tube that we have learned to use. We will finally get to bring her home at 10 weeks old. I hope that you get to experience motherhood, just know a lot of times it isn’t perfect and it doesn’t always go the way you expect.

  • Reply P. November 12, 2017 at 11:35 am

    I came across this post through a link on a forum I visit. Your story is so spot on to many other women’s stories I have read online or have known in person, including myself. After a miscarriage, we have tried for two years for our first child. After many tears, frustrations, pregnancy announcements, and sorrow, we, too, went to a fertility clinic to get diagnosed. It came back unexplained.

    You are right, any medical treatment is not cheap. But I knew I would regret not trying. We skipped the Clomid, the IUIs, and went to IVF. All in all, the process wasn’t as bad as I thought. The recovery after egg retrieval took me a few days, but in the end it was worth it. We froze a few embryos. And by chance, I spontaneously became pregnant while we took a break before our embryo transfer. I have kept my IVF a secret, even from my own mother. There is a certain stigma attached to it still.

    Sending you love and well wishes your way. You are doing all you can to grow your family, and that is what’s important.

  • Reply Ania November 12, 2017 at 5:32 pm

    Jean, sending lots of love from Poland! Thank you for opening up, I hope everything goes as planned soon!

  • Reply Donna November 12, 2017 at 6:24 pm

    Sending you love, light and prayers. I know this is unrelated and have no idea if you are interested but I have gone through many different challenges in my life and have found the emotional prison I felt I was in the hardest part of the ordeals. Like I said … I have no idea if you are interested but I have found something that really helps me neutralize the negative emotions. It is free and called PSTEC. You can look it up on the internet. It is a free download. It has some similarities to EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) of which I am a practitioner … but in my opinion PSTEC works faster and easier. Take what you like and leave the rest … just thought I would share as I can hear the emotion in yours words and would like to help any way I can.

  • Reply Diana November 12, 2017 at 10:51 pm

    Thank you for sharing, Jean. I’ve been going through almost the exact same thing. Nothing’s apparently wrong, but no pregnancy. I just had my retrieval a few days before you. It’s rough. And being small, I think, makes it tougher—the nurses always had trouble drawing blood, and then the swollen ovaries… OOF. At least we’re lucky that Massachusetts seems to have great coverage for infertility. Anyway. I hope one round was enough to get you a ton of viable eggs. Best of luck to you. <3

  • Reply Lily November 12, 2017 at 11:57 pm

    You’re an amazing person and inspiring. Don’t give up hope. Y’all will make amazing parents.

  • Reply Tatjana November 13, 2017 at 4:35 am

    Wow! I’m so sorry, but don’t give up! Please! I get pregnant luckily with IWF when I was 44! Tried several times – finally I got the right IWF Institution, which was in Czechoslowakia! Very much highly recommended – I got pregnant at first try! Go and have a look at reprofit.cz! I know, it is in Europe, but sometimes you have to go different ways. So did I. I just wanted to share this with you. Tatjana, Switzerland

  • Reply Silvia November 13, 2017 at 7:38 am

    I am a follower from Spain, I love your looks, hopefully in Spain there would be bloggers with your style. I hope you never leave this because you are very good at it and you help me a lot to prepare my outings.
    regards

  • Reply Rachel November 13, 2017 at 2:57 pm

    I’m starting IVF injections this week and I have every emotion under the sun right now. You described the feelings associated with infertility perfectly! I appreciate your braveness to share this. I wish I could so that I could be a help to other women going through this. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and so glad I have your journey to follow to help prepare me for the road ahead.

  • Reply Molly November 13, 2017 at 8:26 pm

    You are so brave, Jean! I am praying for a healthy baby for you!

  • Reply Susanne November 14, 2017 at 3:14 am

    Thank you for sharing this, and for your honesty! I’m amazed at your strength in going through ivf and sharing during uncertain times! Good luck to you! I’m willing you my strength to stay strong! I’m rooting for you.

  • Reply Alyssa November 14, 2017 at 11:57 am

    Thank you for sharing your journey with the world… I will be lifting you and your husband up in prayer to a mighty God that loves you both so much and sees the desire of your hearts. Many blessings of love and unity and hope to you and Nick.

  • Reply Peggy November 14, 2017 at 9:44 pm

    Dear Jean,

    Thank you for being courageous to share your story on your blog. I have followed your blog for several years and it’s my favorite- always so polished, well-written, and professional. I struggled to get pregnant for about two years with my son and am now in the same situation again trying for a second, totaling two miscarriages to date. I empathize with everything you expressed in this blog. I have many friends who conceived beautiful, healthy children through IVF and I’m sure you will be one of them, too! Hang it there.

    Thinking of you.

  • Reply Ping November 15, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    Hi Jean,

    I been following your blog for some years now and never leave a comment, I just wasn’t the type of person that like to leave comment. But this time I really want to send my best wishes to you.

    I had been through some tough time as well, for miscarriages. I had two in sequences so I decided to went to private clinic and done a lot of tests, took medication to prevent further miscarriages, lots of stress, but all worthy in the end, my cute little son is 2 years and a half now.

    You are very brave to share this, it’s very hard to go through this and anxious while waiting for results, but stay positive and I am sure your little cuties will arrive soon! Lots of love xxx

  • Reply yushi November 15, 2017 at 6:34 pm

    I’m so sorry for you both. It’s really painful. My husband ans I had experience the same stressful experience. At my 6th try of IVF and it was negative….I thought I will never be a mom. At that moment, I can’t talk to anyone. Actually, I don’t think any of my friends would understand me. It was so easy for them. Most of my friend already had a second child a that moment. I felt that I need professional support and go for psychology consultation. Actually, I was just crying the whole session. And finally when I thought there was no more hope for us, I get pregnant on my 7th IVF. We have wonderful little boy now. It’s really not easy but keep fait. Love!

  • Reply Natasha November 15, 2017 at 8:16 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve just been Googling male infertility for the past hour as we have found out after two years of trying that we will need to have IVF. I came on here because I have followed your fashion advice from the UK for years – it’s a comfort to hear someone else open up about their journey. Thank you for being so brave and I’m truly sorry you have to go through this. It can be the most maddening, isolating thing!

  • Reply Karen November 16, 2017 at 9:23 am

    Good luck with the IVF process! I truly hope it goes well for you

  • Reply Joyce November 18, 2017 at 4:21 am

    My husband and I went through IVF too and we could identify with you (and Nick’s) heartaches all the way through. What kept us going at that time was counting every little blessings that we do have, even if at times you just have to pretend to feel grateful. I have great faith in IVF and its success rates so even if you do ended having to do a few cycles, keep faith and stay strong. I pray that one day you’ll be able to gaze at your little ones and all the pain of IVF will be seen as just little hiccups along the way of motherhood.

  • Reply Jane November 18, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    Lots of hugs!!! Jean you are an incredibly brave and gracious woman. I cried reading through the post. Even though I did not go through you are going through, I hope I feel the frustration, pain and loneliness you are feeling. It can be liberating to share your struggles with others and you will find that are not alone. I know for sure good things will come out of this journey and you will come out better and stronger! I will pray for you!

  • Reply Michelle November 20, 2017 at 12:04 am

    I’ve been following for years, and this is my first reply. I cried reading this. I am 32 and you have elegantly conveyed everything that I am feeling, but didn’t know how to say. My heart goes out to you.

  • Reply Dru November 21, 2017 at 5:04 pm

    Hey Jean, been seeing your post on FB within my friend circle regarding this topic. You have been an inspiration to many.

    Keep hope alive.

    Well wishes.

  • Reply anazncat November 21, 2017 at 6:59 pm

    Hi Jean,
    As a petite asian women myself (I’m exactly the same clothing size as you), I totally understand the stigma and expectations of being a “quiet” women especially regarding “personal” issues. I’ve been following you for quite sometime – I want to thank you for opening up about this part of your life. You are brave and strong. I will keep you and Nick in my thoughts as you both go down this journey together.

  • Reply Jean Wang November 22, 2017 at 5:07 am

    Dear Jean!

    Hello from Jean Wang in New Zealand! I’m a Mum to 2 beautiful boys and I want you to know how much I feel for you and that you ARE incredibly brave and strong, even when you don’t feel like it. Your time to be a Mother will come because absolutely everything happens for a reason. I wish you all the best through your IVF journey, its only one chapter to the rest because the best is yet to come!

    Ps: I love your blog and everything on it. Please let me know if you ever come down to our part of the world!

  • Reply zhiyan November 24, 2017 at 8:05 am

    Jean, your little angel has been looking for you. He or she just needs a little more time as they don’t walk fast enough from the beginning. You will be there! Thank you for sharing. It brought tears to my eyes. Hug Hug. It’s difficult… On another note, this is good preparation for parenting! Because parenting, despite exhausting, is worth looking forward to. Wish you and Nick all the best.

  • Reply Diana November 24, 2017 at 12:50 pm

    Dear Jean, since the day I read your post I’ve been thinking about it. I’m not in the same situation but I’ve been waiting for a year to start to try to have a baby because Endometriosis. I’am afraid what is going to happen and when I read you post I realized I’am no alone, we are plenty of women around the world fighting to become a mom. The only thing I can tell you is to believe it is going to happen, believe there is a beautiful baby waiting for you and Nick. I hope soon you write good news. God bless your beatiful family.

  • Reply Tiff M November 24, 2017 at 11:29 pm

    Just stumbled upon your IG page which lead me to your blog. I can totally relate to your journey as it is also mine. I was happy to see that you live in Boston as MA is a wonderful state that covers IVF (I used to live there). I just finished finished my first round of meds (I ABSOLUTELY HATE needles!) & the body changes are indeed significant (no one talks about the belching & flatulence 🤣)!! I pray you get LOTS of eggs/blastocysts & I pray my little blastocyst survives the thawing process for implantation. We are going to do a second round to get a few more (I’m older & I want to harvest as many as I can). If you need/want to vent to a stranger, I’ll lend an ear. It’s a hard journey (with many bumps & tears) but a worthy one. Blessings!!

  • Reply Lolo November 25, 2017 at 7:30 pm

    Thank you for sharing Jean. I am praying for you.

    I will share my story in the hope it might help other women.

    Between the age of 37 and 40, I got pregnant and miscarried 5 times. 4 times naturally and 1 time doing IVF (3 cycles, 2 with my own eggs and 1 with a donor 15 years younger). Then it became too much, emotionally and financially so we decided to stop. At 43, we decided to try one last time and my husband went to see a urologist to have varicocele surgery to correct a low sperm count. Within 3 months of trying, we got pregnant naturally and had a beautiful baby after I turned 44. Male infertility is often discounted and fertility clinics will not suggest you see a urologist to fix the problem when they can pump for cash for multiple cycles. I hope you all succeed in your journey. Stay positive and strong.

  • Reply Em November 27, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    Jean, thank you for sharing this. I have always admired your style and journey as a blogger. I am not admiring you for taking on this journey and sharing it. I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending good wishes your way.

  • Reply Em November 27, 2017 at 4:22 pm

    Jean, thank you for sharing this. I have always admired your style and journey as a blogger. I am now admiring you for taking on this journey and sharing it. I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending good wishes your way.

  • Reply Lee Erlich November 28, 2017 at 1:37 am

    U R Amazing women!!!

  • Reply Trinh November 29, 2017 at 11:34 am

    Thank you for your raw and honest blog about infertility and IVF. It helps women like be who haven’t had issues w infertility understand what my family and friends who have had to deal with this are going through. It’s helps me be more understanding and mindful of what I might say or might not say to them that can be helpful. Please continue to share your journey. I will keep you and Nick in my prayers.

  • Reply WithloveinSeptember December 2, 2017 at 10:30 pm

    Wishing you good news soon! Thank you for sharing your story. You are incredibly brave and you’ll be such a wonderful mother ❤️

  • Reply michelle joung December 4, 2017 at 10:38 am

    Jean, I have been following your blog for more than 3 years. but this is first time to leave a comments because English is not my mother language.
    I might be your mother age. You remind me my daughter. when I read your wedding , I blessed you like I did to my daughter. when I read your post today, it makes me cry. thank you so much for sharing your incredible journey and I really hope you will be a wonderful mom soon. There are so many things to say but I don’t know what to say.Praying for you.Send you tons of love!!!

  • Reply Shanne December 5, 2017 at 1:10 pm

    i just stumbled upon this post and i’m not sure how are you doing right now. but reading this reminds me of an Indonesian blogger who is also an IVF survivor. she mostly writes in Bahasa but you can read this one in English:
    http://www.alodita.com/2014/12/my-ivf-success-story.html?m=1

    i’m praying for the best for you and Nick! 💕

  • Reply Maureen December 6, 2017 at 9:42 am

    Hi Jean, I hope you are having a great morning so far. I wanted to say thank you for sharing this. I am sure that was hard especially sharing something that is truly personal to you. I have heard of IVF and have friends that are in process, some in similar stages as you and others that are far along. My friend who has been trying for a few years now is pregnant and expecting her first child. I am sharing this with you in the hopes that it helps put your mind at ease (even though I know it’ll still be running at 100 mph) that it can work and it will work. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time and I have faith that everything will work out. Stay strong and looking forward to good news.

    http://www.littlemisscasual.com

  • Reply Karen December 6, 2017 at 10:46 am

    Thank you for sharing, I shared your struggles with infertility and it’s is such a hard process emotionally, physically and financially. I’m thankful I have my beautiful son today! Prayer and talking with others will get you through the hard times. Wishing you the best!

  • Reply Borana December 6, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    I am sorry to hear this story of yours. But hey don’t discourage and keep going. You are a lovely women and you will definitely have an amazingly healthy baby soon. Check out Alisa Vitti Floliving programme. I am doing it my self to regulate period/ovulation. It is the most natural one and effective. Also check out Christine Northrup – Women”s bodies women’s wisdom ( I think she released a new book as well) They will definitely help. All the best , Borana

  • Reply Melanie Yu December 9, 2017 at 11:22 am

    Jean — thank you for sharing such a personal story and being so candid for so many women out there going through the same thing you’re going through. You are definitely not alone in this and I pray for strength, hope and guidance through it all. My sister actually went through IVF and now has beautiful twin girls and she couldn’t be more ecstatic. A lot of hard work went to this of course but definitely losing hope wasn’t one of them. Although we haven’t kept up with each other in so long, I still from time to time follow your journey. We all go through struggles that are hard to voice it out loud especially in Asian families. But I agree the more we talk about it, the less women will become ashamed of what’s part of our make up. You aren’t less of a woman nor Nick less of a man for going through this. The worst thing is not trying and only God will hand you things that He knows you can both can handle. I wish you and Nick all the best. Much love, Melanie

  • Reply Anonymous January 1, 2018 at 2:02 pm

    Thank you

  • Reply Anonymous January 15, 2018 at 4:12 am

    Google searched “Cole Haan Hayes ankle booties” and came across your blog. Thank you for sharing your story. I have a very dear friend who went through a very similar pregnancy journey as you. All the wives in group have become mothers of at least two or more children. It’s been many years (the first born babies in our group are in now elementary school) and finally our dear friend decided to begin fertility treatment. To my friend’s surprise, they got pregnant naturally after starting injections. Miracles happen in different ways. As hard as it may be, be positive because it is good for your mind, body and reproductive system. Imagine yourself being pregnant. How do you think it would feel? The flutter early in your pregnancy? To the flips and full on kicks? Soon you will find out how it truly feels…and your life will be forever changed. God bless you and may he send you your very own blessing soon.

  • Reply Angie Fajardo January 21, 2018 at 11:32 pm

    Jean, will be praying for you and Nick . 🙏🏻 God is is control and just find rest in knowing that in his perfect timing God will bless you both with a child. I struggled for years with infertility and now have a beautiful little girl. Thank you for sharing your heart, it made me watery eyed and reminded me of how far we’ve come only by the Grace of God.

  • Reply ANGELA April 20, 2018 at 9:51 pm

    Thanks so much for being honest and sharing. It helps for women to talk about these things rather than avoid the stigma and pretend everything is ok. I’ve just had 2 miscarriages. And just by talking about it I’ve discovered 2 other friends who have gone through this as well. Good luck, and I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly.

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