• Classic camel coat (and an IVF update)

    classic fall winter fashion_camel coat slimming black pants

    J.Crew Factory coat 00 petite (unfortunately no petites this year; similar option in petites), Uniqlo tee xs (see the “brown” color on me), Banana Republic pants 00p,Tory Burch purse on sale!, Ann Taylor bow pumps sz 5 (flats version)

    Before I get back to regular outfit posts, I wanted to say thank you. I read each and every comment, direct message, and email in response to my last post, and was so moved by your warmth, support, and openness. Even though I may not have replied directly, please know that each message was uniquely meaningful to me. Your deeply personal stories allowed me to feel and share in your own incredible triumphs as well as heartache, in a way that’s amazing for women connecting through a blog.

    For those who are interested, I wanted to occasionally share more of the highs and lows of the journey as we go. After leaving off with IVF egg retrieval in my last post, the next steps were to wait and see how many eggs fertilized, and then how many survived to day 5. In our case, the embryos that grow to day 5 are frozen to undergo optional genetic testing, which takes several weeks. Each embryo that’s deemed healthy can then be thawed and implanted into the uterus, where it will hopefully “stick.” At every waiting point along the way, there is almost always a dropoff.

    Our doctor was able to retrieve 21 eggs last week. I was admittedly on a high, and allowed myself to feel oh so optimistic! But only 9 fertilized, and then yesterday while in the grocery store parking lot, I was told only 3 embryos survived to undergo testing (which means perhaps 1 or even none could make it to implantation). I couldn’t help but burst into tears right there – I was prepared for dropoff, but not quite so much. I know it’s ok and even important to cry at times, but your messages helped me find strength and regain positivity, as we continue down this uncertain road. So thank you again, from the bottom of our hearts.

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    166 thoughts on “Classic camel coat (and an IVF update)

    • Reply Danielle November 8, 2017 at 9:14 am

      Good luck to you. We ended up with 4 embryos, and all 4 were PGS tested and normal and now one of those embryos is our baby boy. 3 is great! Keep up the positive vibes, I know waiting is soo very hard. I look forward to your future posts on pregnancy fashion:)

    • Reply Heidi November 8, 2017 at 9:39 am

      You are such an incredibly, strong person! Thank you for sharing such a personal story and your progress on how it’s going! I, myself, personally have not experienced it, but I have family members who have gone through the same experience as you (which eventually turned out well and I wish the same will happen for you too!). So hang in there! 🙂
      On a side note to your coat post-it’s gorgeous! I noticed that J Crew doesn’t have such a great fit (at least, not on me). So it’s a bit unfortunate that they don’t have it in petite…

    • Reply Maria November 8, 2017 at 9:46 am

      As an IVF veteran, you only need ONE to work!!! In my case, we had lots of eggs after retrieval and numbers went down considerably. I never had more than two who survived five days.
      Keep your hopes up!

    • Reply Sue November 8, 2017 at 9:47 am

      Hi, Jean

      I’ve been following your blog on and off for years and I read from somewhere else that you posted something about IVF. I was surprised by your courage but didn’t come to read it. Until my friend chatted with me about how your post touched her deeply and gave her a very different perspective on IVF.

      So I gather enough courage and come to read it. Yes I got tears in eyes after reading. I feel so strongly partially because I’ve experienced it as well. I started everything 4 years ago and wanted to have a girl sooooo much at that time. I got 21 eggs retrieved and only got 3 embryos passing gene test! Frustrated but still hopeful, I had the only girl embryo implanted soon.

      But it failed. The pain was hard to describe. To this day, every time I think about it, it still hurts. It hurt even worse than when I had miscarriage a couple of years ago. I didn’t know why. Maybe it’s because I knew it’s a girl and I wanted a girl so much?

      It took me a very long time to recover emotionally and started trying again. Now after 4 years, I recently had my last embryo transferred and this time I was tested to be pregnant a few weeks ago. I was preparing myself to accept one more failure and move on with life. And here it comes. You just never know what’s there for you at the next corner.

      I still have a long journey in front of me. Things could happen anytime in the first 12 weeks. I tell myself to hope for the best but be prepared for the worst, always. Because it would hurt so much when you don’t.

      I have no doubt at all that you will SUCCEED in IVF. And probably very soon. You started it at a young age and technologies are getting better every year. I read many IVF stories and there are many many very difficult cases that all succeeded eventually. Some started at an age over 40. Some had to go through more than 5+ implants. They just stick to it and don’t give up.

      I look at life quite differently after going through IVF. Your probably would too.

      Being a mother means being strong. You are a strong girl. When you feel weak and helpless, thinking about it this way: all these frustration and pain will only make the final happiness even happier.

      All the best wishes!

    • Reply Alina November 8, 2017 at 10:02 am

      Thank you for sharing your journey.I hope that everything will work out .Sending prayers and hugs❤️

    • Reply Becky November 8, 2017 at 10:03 am

      Thank you for sharing your story, Jean. I have been following your blog for many years. Your style is lovely, but you are also a beautiful person. My heartfelt wishes to you and Nick for this difficult journey. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    • Reply Katie November 8, 2017 at 10:14 am

      Thank you for being so open about this journey. Infertility and all that comes with it are so common, yet so isolating. The more women who speak out, the more the stigma will fall away, and the more we can easily support each other through these difficulties. So thank you.

    • Reply talia November 8, 2017 at 10:16 am

      Sending hugs and prayers to you and Nick. Thank you for sharing such an important journey. BIG hugs…

    • Reply April November 8, 2017 at 10:32 am

      Oh Jean… I was so touched by your story. Having gone through infertility I can understand all too well the emotions you are feeling right now. Try to stay strong and even though it’s hard to imagine things will work out. I have known so many women with infertility who have been through what you have gone through and they do have children. If you want children you will have them, and it may just take a bit longer.

      April | https://thebluehydrangeas.com

    • Reply Yi November 8, 2017 at 10:36 am

      I want to say you look wonderful in that outfit!
      I will pray for your journey to a successful IVF. Stay strong!

    • Reply Barbara November 8, 2017 at 10:45 am

      Your honesty, strength, optimism and openness is an inspiration to so many, some who are on a similar emotional roller coaster. May you be blessed with good news soon. (it only takes 1 egg, may it be the blessed one!) We are all here supporting you!

    • Reply Caroline November 8, 2017 at 10:49 am

      Thank you for sharing your story. Infertility can be a lonely and isolating journey with many hardships and setbacks along the way. As a half Asian woman I have gone through a 4-yr infertility journey with 2 rounds of IVF, countless FET’s, and lots of tears along the way. Allow yourself the time to mourn the “could have been”, but know that with every next step you are that much closer to fulfilling your dream.
      After switching to a new clinic and treatment protocol (endometrial scratches, PGS testing, blood thinners) I now have an 8-month old little boy! If nothing else, infertility has taught me to have greater compassion for those who are struggling with difficulties in their lives. Never give up hope! It only takes one!

    • Reply HoldingOnToHopeWithYou November 8, 2017 at 10:55 am

      Hello friend. Been following you for years and my heart hurts for you. We have been there too. The constant emotional roller coaster of hurry up and wait. Will be thinking about you. It’s probably hard to see that right now but hold onto hope. I have seen it so many times that all it takes is one good embryo. <3

    • Reply Annie November 8, 2017 at 10:56 am

      Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. Keep crying and let your emotions out. It’s good. Prayers your way.

    • Reply LK November 8, 2017 at 10:58 am

      Praying for you and your husband!

    • Reply Anonymous November 8, 2017 at 11:11 am

      I have been a long time reader and your last post strike a special spot. We are almost at the same spot with my egg retrieval on Saturday and I now have 3 embryos on Day 4. I know all clinics are different but I do encourage you to consider transfer on day 5 versus freezing and doing genetic testing. It seems like a big risk on one embryo when it might not recover from freezing and thawing. If there are chromosome anomalies, it will likely not implant anyways. So for me with limited eggs – it’s a no brainer decision. I know my doctor would usually even transfer on day 3 if he didn’t think the embryos will make it to day 5 – better chance in the body. I know all clinics are different and all doctors are different. Wishing you the best and you are not alone.

    • Reply Anita November 8, 2017 at 11:25 am

      It is so difficult to talk about infertility. Thank you for doing so! Your original post so eloquently described all the complicated feelings that come along with IVF. The physical part is tough but the real burden is emotional–so much uncertainty! I’ve been through 3 IVF cycles and 1 frozen. The last cycle resulted in half as many eggs as the doctor was expecting because I ovulated early. I was so worried (like you are now!) that we would not have any embryos to transfer. But even with only six eggs, we ended up with two to transfer and still have an additional embryo frozen. So getting less than optimal results doesn’t mean it won’t work! I’m also older than you (39 with that last cycle), which makes success even harder but we still ended up with two healthy boys. Good luck with the rest of the process and thank you again for being brave enough to share your experience!

    • Reply Petite Teacher November 8, 2017 at 11:29 am

      “With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts” Eleanor Roosevelt

    • Reply Melissa November 8, 2017 at 11:47 am

      Thank you for sharing! My husband and I have started the whole infertility treatment recently as well and it’s also been very emotional for me too. I understand everything you are going through and I hope that that we all can be a support to each other. I also feel alone in this and no one understands so I do thank you for sharing your struggles. I was also curious on your last post you mentioned that the insurance found some abnormalies and you were able to get covered. Not sure if you are open to sharing but what kind of abnormalities did they see? I am very glad that your insurance covered infertility treatment as mine and many others do not which is so sad. Thank you again and it really encourages me that I am not alone.

    • Reply Anonymous November 8, 2017 at 11:47 am

      Jean,
      Thank you for sharing your story . I have been following your blog for years .
      Keep beveling and hang in there . I wish you all the luck, blessing . Hang in there . Hugs

    • Reply Mania Dallas November 8, 2017 at 11:52 am

      Hi, Jean,
      I have never commented here before, but I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and Nick during this very difficult time. It was so brave of you to share this extremely personal journey, and it was equally brave of you to keep your struggles to yourself. I just wanted to let you know that I think ALL of your readers will support you no matter how you deal with the pain you are going through – sometimes only you will know what is the best way to get through this… whatever happens, NEVER think that you should feel “guilt” for coping in ways that may be different than others. You are SO strong even if you may not feel like it right now. Some day you will look back on this and it will be worth it all when you have children! Hang in there girl!
      God loves you!
      All my love,
      Mania Dallas

    • Reply Amy November 8, 2017 at 12:00 pm

      Thank you for sharing your story. I am in a similar spot and completely understand what you are going through. I couldn’t even tell my parents about this because they would think I’m a failure for not having a child (Asian parents for the win!) I also felt disappointed when I went from 7 eggs, 3 that were mature, and only one made it to day 5 for freezing. Hang in there and wishing sticky baby dust for you!

    • Reply Anonymous November 8, 2017 at 12:18 pm

      I went through this journey myself and all I can say is, don’t give up hope. It took 9 rounds of IVF till we were blessed with our oldest son. It took only 2 tries for my younger son. Your doctors of course know best but I never had any luck with frozen embryos – we always implanted after 5 days. That might make the difference for you too. Finally, we also changed doctors after the 1st try when a very large number of eggs were retrieved but none fertilized. I think that also made a huge difference. Something to think about.

    • Reply Arts November 8, 2017 at 12:33 pm

      Dear Jean

      Thank you for sharing. Keep breathing, keep praying. You’ll soon hold that bundle of joy and all this will be worth it. Good Luck and much Love.

    • Reply Shloka November 8, 2017 at 12:54 pm

      Firstly you look beautiful and I love this coat. Secondly, don’t loose hope beautiful! there is always hope and just surround yourself with positivity and positive energy – I know I’m sending that your way!

      x
      Shloka
      http://www.thesilksneaker.com

    • Reply anonymous November 8, 2017 at 1:00 pm

      Hi Jean, thank you for sharing your story. I am also undergoing IVF (but with egg donor). we had 13 eggs retrieved, 10 fertilized, 7 day 5 blasts, 6 undergoing PGS testing. so we ended up with 3 normals and 1 mosaic.
      i underwent embryo transfer two months ago, but it didn’t stick. i am scheduled to transfer my second embryo in december and crossing my fingers that it will take the second time around.
      the process is so emotionally taxing..not to mention the daily injections of progesterone. my butt still felt sore a month after the injections ended. i just wanted to wish you luck on your journey and hope that everything turns out well 🙂

    • Reply Meghan Burns November 8, 2017 at 1:20 pm

      Such a cute look. Thank you for sharing your story. It is such a brave thing to do. Love how real you are. Love that you are able to put yourself in a vulnerable situation by sharing. Being vulnerable is brave and takes courage and strength. Thank you. We need more real people out in this world full of social media today.
      xo, Meghan | http://tanlinesanddaisies.com/

    • Reply Mel November 8, 2017 at 1:44 pm

      Good luck Jean! I probably won’t want kids (90% sure), but in the last 18 months I have been considering egg freezing just in case, especially since my company covers it (I work in tech, yea lucky us). One of my friends (co-worker as well) froze her eggs last year. She did 2 rounds and explained the process to me. Another friend of mine just started her embryo freezing right now. None of them are challenged in the fertility department I don’t think, but both are in their late 30s: One is not married yet and the other one wants another 2 years to focus on her career. Thank you for being open about something so personal. It takes a lot of courage. I wish you all the best, Jean. You know that all your blog followers are cheering for you.

    • Reply Mi Jia November 8, 2017 at 1:52 pm

      Dear Jean,

      Thank you about these posts. I myself are not in that stage of my life yet, and I may never give birth to a child, but I think it is important we, women, talk about things openly without feeling ashamed. I think you set a good example for all those women who have similar problems. bravo!
      I do wish you become a mom soon but whether that happens or not, stay happy and stay positive!

      Best wishes,
      Mi Jia

    • Reply Anonymous November 8, 2017 at 1:57 pm

      Jean,

      Thank you for your raw honesty. It was so very brave for you to open up about your journey. I hope the best for you guys, and with every door that closes, another window will open. Things always happen for a reason. Much love you you. xoxox

    • Reply libby November 8, 2017 at 2:14 pm

      Jean, Thank you for sharing your IVF story, I really do think it makes it easier to be open about fertility struggles both for yourself and for others going through the same thing. I went thru IVF 2 years ago post many failed IUI attempts and now have a healthy 16 month old boy with 3 frozen embryos. Don’t be discouraged by the attrition, that is par for the course when dealing with IVF as remember that even though you had a lot of eggs taken, probably not all were really mature enough to fertilize. I wish you the best in the process. if you have any questions please feel free to reach out!

    • Reply Amber Robinson November 8, 2017 at 2:15 pm

      I’m a long time reader of your blog (and have some amazing outfits thanks to you!) and have also walked down the path you and your husband are on. At my retrieval, the doctors were able to get 14 eggs but only 3 were viable. My husband and I decided to put in all 3 and we now have a beautiful and strong daughter who recently turned 5 . I know this journey is incredibly hard and one you never hope to take. Thank you for sharing your story. My thoughts, prayers and baby dust are with you.

    • Reply Lyana November 8, 2017 at 3:37 pm

      We love this classic, chic look Jean! You incorporated gorgeous use of contrast with the camel coat and form-fitting black. The belt is a nice touch, adding warmth and color coordination. Thank you for the inspiration!

    • Reply Jandrew November 8, 2017 at 3:38 pm

      Life never gives you more than you can handle ! Stay strong and support each other !
      Jandrew
      Dress The Part

    • Reply Anonymous November 8, 2017 at 3:48 pm

      Dear Jean, I pray God will be with you through this difficult time, and give you strength and health to the best outcome. I’ve been married for 15 years now, and still waiting for that miracle to become a Mother one day. It’s truly painful for me to not yet able to give my husband a child/be a Mom. But I believe when the time is right, God will bless us nothing but the best. And for that, I’ll keep you in my prayers and looking forward to your great news! Take-care, Jean.

    • Reply BRANDI November 8, 2017 at 3:57 pm

      Hi Jean! Ive been a reader of your blog for over 6 yrs now, never commented before. I was googling petite fashion and found your blog and I have enjoyed it so much! And the peeks into yals life have been sweet. My husband and I have been married almost 13 yrs and we do not have children although we are more open to the idea than we used to be. But i completely understand all the questions and judgment you can get from people wondering ‘when’ and ‘why’ and ‘why not’.. I truly admire your beauty, class, style, courage, and heart and I hope for the best and success for you and Nick! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! Love ya! B

    • Reply Bbhatt November 8, 2017 at 3:58 pm

      I read all the comments that gave me courage and hopefullness as I see a fertility expert soon. I have one daughter and recent 3 miscarriages and eptopic pregnancy.
      We all are praying for you. Hugs

    • Reply MANUELA November 8, 2017 at 4:30 pm

      All the love to you and ur Nick, Jen. #respect

    • Reply Christina Y. November 8, 2017 at 4:30 pm

      Hugs to you! I’ve followed your blog for years and hope that your dream of becoming a mom will be realized soon. I think it’s really brave of you to share something so deeply personal!

    • Reply fellowwarrior November 8, 2017 at 4:35 pm

      Jen,
      I am going through this exact thing and I wanted to tell you that I only had 11 eggs which only 8 were mature. I am 34 and thought I’d have much more eggs. My husband kept telling me it only takes one but it is hard to have hope when you hear the numbers keep dropping each step which makes your heart stop a little each way. I ended up with 5 that were able to fertilize and was crying at the thought that only half would possibly make it to day 5. After waiting I only had 2 which had me thinking if I should just forego the testing, but ultimately went ahead with the testing and both ended up normal. In the end it only takes one so try to keep hopeful. It’s been a whirlwind of emotions and as I embark on my first transfer in a week I will keep you in my mind. It’s not about the quantity but the quality and just keep reminding yourself that it only takes one good one.

    • Reply Peppermint Dolly November 8, 2017 at 4:53 pm

      You lady, are a total rockstar, keep being brave and striving forward and I’ll be sending all the good vibes your way!

      Rebecca
      xx

    • Reply Rajal Patel November 8, 2017 at 5:08 pm

      Hi Jean,
      You are so brave and thank you for sharing. i look forward to your blog and insta posts everyday. I love all of your posts. I am sending you and Nick lots of positive thoughts and prayers. I hope all of the embryos are healthy and you will soon be a mom. 🙂

    • Reply Anonymous November 8, 2017 at 5:26 pm

      Jean- you are my hero. I am an avid follower of your blog but never commented. I went through the egg freezing process since I don’t yet have a partner and getting to that age.. the result wasn’t what I expected and it was a lonely experience to have gone through myself. It is an emotional process indeed. I really appreciate you sharing and hope you find comfort in our shared experiences going through the fertility treatment process.

    • Reply L November 8, 2017 at 5:50 pm

      I’ve read your blog for several years, although this is the first time ever I choose to comment on a post as my english is not the best.

      It’s been such a pleasure to read your blog, in fact it’s one of my favorites. You are my style idol and admire you for being so open about such a sensitive topic. Just wanted to tell you that both my brother and I are a result of a failed IVF process. My parents had several trials and failed each times until they gave up and for some reason my mom got pregnant 2 years after they finished the treatment even though the doctors had told her that she couldn’t get children without help, they received two. Same story goes for my boyfriend. His mother and father had tried to get children for 5 years and then suddenly they got twins.

      Never give up! You seem so strong and I send you the best of luck from the bottom of my heart!

      Xx
      You’re biggest Norwegian fan

    • Reply Kim November 8, 2017 at 5:58 pm

      Hi, Jean. Thank you for sharing your update. Your blog has been such an encouragement to me, and your story this week has touched my heart. For what it’s worth, here are a few thoughts for those days when it may be tempting to feel down. 1) We’re living in amazing times of innovation–medical and otherwise–to the point that it’s not possible to keep up with all the breakthroughs! If it doesn’t happen for you and Nick in 2017, 2018 may offer a brand new IVF technique that changes everything. 2) As others have already commented, so many times we hear of someone who became pregnant naturally, after having long given up trying–and even after failed fertility treatments. It happens. 3) I personally have had a number of friends tell me about a sister, daughter, or friend who for years could not conceive–yet who suddenly became pregnant after having recently gained 5 or 10 pounds, even if her cycle was already regular. Hugs and best wishes to you and Nick.

    • Reply Heather November 8, 2017 at 6:04 pm

      Jean, I’m rooting for you and Nick. Thank you for sharing your in-progress story. Your style is impeccable, but more so, you are an incredible writer and person. You have lots of support regardless of where your journey takes you.

    • Reply Lauren November 8, 2017 at 7:03 pm

      Hi Jean. Fellow Bostonian, South End-er and IVF patient here. My husband and I did two rounds of IVF with ICSI. Of my 31 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized but only 5 made it to day 5. They implanted the best looking 2, and we were blessed with a baby boy ( he’s almost one). It only takes one embryo – that was our mantra and it kept us positive. It only takes one. Sending best wishes to you and Nick. I’m praying for your “one”.

    • Reply Libby November 8, 2017 at 7:07 pm

      I really can’t express how meaningful it is that you are sharing your infertility story. It can be so isolating.

    • Reply Val T November 8, 2017 at 8:56 pm

      You probably heard this a million times, so I appogize for yet another advise – but in my case it was a matter of low body mass (i am part asian) and likely not enough good fats in my diet that seemed to be the problem. Did not need to do ivf, but did switch my diet to include a loooit of good fat. Including raw butter/milk very lightly cooked eggs, bone broth etc. Wellnessmama.com has a fertility protocol, that explained a good deal about fertility hormones and their connection to the amount of good fatty food. You seem to eat well, but maybe you will find it helpful. Strangely enough, not many conventional doctors know about it and are still affraid of cholesterol.

    • Reply Anonymous November 8, 2017 at 9:34 pm

      Thank you for sharing your journey, you are not alone. My husband and I did IVF and also left the retrieval on a high, but only 7 fertilized and 4 made it to day 5. It’s hard not to be disappointed after all the work you put in. We didn’t do generic testing and transferred one, another one made it to freeze. Well, I am now pregnant and expecting soon, there were a lot of disappointments leading up to this for us, but staying positive was the only thing I could truly control. I wish you the best! Stay optimistic, the cliche is true, it takes one.

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